Notice signs of stress in your helper? Get help from a mental health expert.

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At a glance

• If your MDW feels too stressed, she may struggle to focus on work, leading to injuries or worse.
• Know some signs to look out for that tell you if she could be stressed out.
• Asking the right questions can help her.

Your helper's mental well-being is just as important as her physical health. If she feels too stressed, she may struggle to focus on work. This can lead to injuries or even self-harm.

So, how can we tell if she is stressed out and intervene promptly to prevent any incidents?

Let Josephine Tham, a mental health professional with 30 years of experience, share answers to some questions about recognising and managing stress in your MDW.

A mental health professional with three decades of experience in nursing and mental health care, Josephine is Head of Care at Brahm Centre. Launched in 2012, Brahm Centre is a registered charity that empowers people to stay physically and mentally well through science-based mindfulness programmes as well as courses and talks by healthcare professionals.

Q1: How can I tell if my helper is stressed?

• She may need help if she shows one or more of these signs.
• Looks tired all the time, even in the morning.
• Seems zoned out, sad or worried.
• Forgets, drops or breaks things often.
• Eats very little or excessively.

Q2: Are there specific causes of stress that I should be aware of and what can I do to help her?

Three main things can stress her: work, isolation and lack of rest.

Work

She may not be familiar with her tasks. For instance, it could be her first time caring for an elder, or she may be unsure about how to operate appliances such as rice cookers. A new environment can also be daunting for some MDWs, especially if they have never lived in a high-rise building before.

To overcome these, give her time to get used to things. Be patient when guiding her. Be firm, but do not shout at her as this makes her fearful and more likely to make mistakes.

If your helper needs training, you can explore the Agency of Integrated Care Caregivers Training Grant. It subsidises your MDW when she attends caregiving courses to give her more confidence when caring for elders.

Isolation

She may feel that she is disconnected from her family back home and, without a network of friends, loses a source of comfort and support.

To address this, encourage her to video-call her family regularly after work. This will provide much-needed comfort to someone who is so far away from home.

You can also encourage her to join safe activities with other MDWs on her rest days. This can help her spend her rest days meaningfully, so that she can recharge and form networks of support outside the household. AEA(S) Fun Club, Aidha and Brahm Centre are just some of the non-governmental organisations that offer MDW-focused activities.

Proper rest and time for activities are crucial for her well-being

Having to work without proper rest can cause her stress too. This doesn’t just refer to hours of sleep, but also getting away from her routine.

To help her feel well-rested, make sure she has enough time to rest and sleep. Like you, she also needs time away from work to do things that she enjoys, so encourage her to try out the activities from the organisations listed above. Most of these activities are free.

For instance, Brahm Centre offers free weekly classes and activities on Sundays, such as conversational English and cooking, that teach her useful skills that can help her in her work.

The classes are modular and focus on hands-on application, so she can pick up something useful even if she attends just one class.

Q3: What if I suspect she is hiding distress due to fear of stigma?

If your MDW is facing distress, she might not dare to bring it up to your attention for fear of being labelled as having issues

The key is to let her know it’s okay to feel stressed sometimes. Allow her to feel safe about opening up without fear of being criticised or punished. Acknowledge her feelings and give her time and space to express them.

Here’s another tip to help her open up: If you are comfortable, share your own experiences with stress or anxiety. This can help her feel more at ease and realise it’s normal to experience such emotions.

Q4: What should I do if I suspect my helper is struggling with undue stress?

Ask open-ended questions like:

• How are things at home?
• How is your family doing?
• How would you like to help them?
• How are you feeling?
• How can I help?

Listen to her without judging. Try to understand her struggles. Do not interrupt her or dismiss anything that she says. This means you should avoid these phrases:

• Don't worry
• Your family members can take care of themselves
• Stop thinking

If language is an issue, it might help for her to speak to someone who speaks her language. This can make it easier for her to express herself and feel understood. She can contact these helplines manned by native language speakers.

Q5: How can I help create a supportive environment for my helper so that she feels motivated and can focus on her work effectively?

Other than physical needs like having sufficient food and rest, your helper also has emotional needs, like feeling safe and secure, having a sense of belonging and more.

This means that you should:

• Ensure she is given sufficient time to have meals
• Make her feel safe. Demonstrate how you would like things done. If she needs repeated guidance, remind yourself that she might have come from a very different environment.
• Orientate her by drawing up a timetable so that she can follow a routine. This empowers her to maintain a structured routine and reduces the need for constant reminders about her tasks which can create undue stress for you and her.
• Give her a sense of belonging and make her feel like a part of the family. Praise her when she does tasks well, instead of simply expecting her to do a good job to motivate her.

Conclusion

As the employer, you play a crucial role in supporting your MDW’s mental well-being. By looking out for the signs of stress, understanding the causes, and taking proactive steps to create a positive environment, you can cultivate a harmonious working relationship with your MDW. This will help your MDW stay motivated and focused on her responsibilities.